Multiple sclerosis brought me back to be the center of my life
By: Nerea Diaz
At the age of 29 I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It is a chronic, autoimmune, degenerative disease with no cure so far. I was deaf in one ear, saw badly in one eye, I was dizzy, my legs would go numb when I walked … and also, I dealt with the threat of my work and the lack of understanding of the people around me.
Before the diagnosis, I had everything that was supposed to make me happy: my own home, a stable partner, a permanent job and I could afford to go on vacation from time to time. Perfect life, which made me tremendously unhappy because it was what was expected of me, not what I wanted.
After more than a year of sick leave and going through three pharmacological treatments, which did not work, I had no choice but to look inward. What was happening? I did not understand anything.
At the time of greatest dependency and physical disability, Buddhism came to me. My Buddhist practice revolutionized me so much that in 15 days there was not a single aspect of my life that I had not transformed. I realized that I was living my life without me and that I was not even clear about what I wanted because I had never thought about it before. I put myself at the center of my life and took action to be happy.
I decided to leave my partner, as painful as it was, after 12 years together. We were hurting each other, and we both deserve to be happy. We also sold the house we owned, and I moved out.
I began to make certain changes in my diet, I began to do more sport and I inquired a lot about natural therapies. My goal was to improve my health to be independent. This made me have small improvements.
Shortly thereafter I passed the medical disability court hearings. I was deemed with a 29% disability, and I was fired from my job because my role could not be adapted.
I didn’t resign myself, I transformed the poison into medicine and I could see the value of that situation. I had the opportunity to put all my efforts and energy into being well.
At my own risk and expense I decided to stop the drug treatment because I realized that I had worsened from the beginning. Months later they confirmed that I have hypersensitivity to drugs. In the meantime, I found a natural treatment that made me regain my energy, the fatigue disappeared completely and little by little I recovered the injuries that I was told were “irreversible” and I did things that I could not do, supposedly.
I decided to take the value of all this experience and accompany other people with difficulties in their health, so that they can learn to listen to themselves, to empower themselves in their health and give the best of themselves. My fundamental values in my personal process and when accompanying other people are love, health and freedom.
My greatest learning has been to transform the suffering of the disease into gratitude and put it at the service of other people.