Getting out of a toxic relationship
By C.D. (Kenya)
A rebellious marriage is how it started, as running away is what I knew best. Little did I know that the grass is greener scenario would be a huge nightmare.
I was in my early twenties when it started, and it continued through the decade. There was physical abuse, dominance, emotional abuse, financial despair, alcoholism, and infidelity. All in 8 years.
For 7.5 years of those 8, I just endured, losing almost everything as a consequence. Self-worth being the most critical.
There was a moment in the last six months when he got me arrested from, unbeknownst to me, not paying past traffic tickets and registering my license plate. So 13 hours in jail. A low moment. At one point, I got on my knees, despite not believing in anything higher anymore, and I really prayed. I promised that if I got out of that cell, I would get the courage to leave. Then there was the catalyst: a girl from my past who wanted to take my marriage. That made me open my eyes, and suddenly, I got an incredible amount of power that I had not ever had. I spoke up and left my toxic relationship.
After five years of breaking down, therapy, treatment, I started getting myself back and healing. The most impactful was the three years of pranic healing, where my therapist cleaned and aligned my chakras. The other thing that really helped was rewriting my life story with forgiveness. I was holding onto so much guilt and shame…once I realised that it wasn’t my fault and that I had been the victim, healing began in full force. This was an ugly, on the floor, in the hospital five years…but it enabled me to heal, get stronger and create the best version of me.
14 years on, I am the strongest, must confident version of myself. I am happily married for 7 years now with a beautiful son. I take nothing for granted. I avoid triggers and toxicity at all costs and most importantly, I practice self-love. What I learned: don’t give up, don’t lose hope, and that every bad situation no matter how bad, can end if you choose it to.